(95bFM radio transcription, 1998)

“Hello Jonathan Jamrag.”

“Helloo,” Jamrag replies cautiously, as a thick shard of feedback slices down the line. After more feedback, Freak The Sheep host Ben departs to find the source.

Jamrag:  “Hey, ‘ow you doin’ mate?’ ”

“Yeah, good, you?”

A voice from behind butts in: “Jed Town here – a voice from the past. You still sound the same.”

“Yeah,” replies Jamrag in slight Ocker via Auckland Pommy brogue. “Yeah, that happens. I’m only about a hundred years older.”

“We’ve got Warwick Hitler, Julian Hanson, Nigel Russell, and me, Nick, tooo from The Spelling Mistakes, man,” says Nick Hanson, hamming it up.

“What more could you ask for?” Jamrag deadpans, laconic humour and very un-boot boy voice poking through.

Various Spelling Mistakes: “That’s right.” “Right.” “It’s a time warp man.” “Made your night, ahh.”

“Is Warwick still wearing a SS uniform?” Jamrag digs.

“I’m in full regalia.” Cheeky Warwick, this is his turf.

“He doesn’t want to look like he’s gay, so he didn’t wear it tonight,” says naughty Nick.

 bFM: “Did you use to go and check out The Spelling Mistakes, Jonathan?”

“Yeeaahh, occasionally. I don’t remember them sticking in my memory like ‘shit The Spelling Mistakes are on tonight, better go and see them.’”

High hacking laugh from Nick.

bFM: “Were they any good ?” Stirring.

“Nah, you better ask them. They’d probably tell you they were pretty good.”

Nick in bad Cockney accent: “Yoor a laff ain’t yuh mate?”

“What’s that?” Jamrag.

Nick: “Yoo a bit of a laff, ain’t cha mate?”

Jamrag, clued at last, in bad Cockney accent: “Ooor, yeah.”

bFM: “Jed was telling me a story. I think the Spelling Mistakes were there too, where you tried to burn down the Windsor.”

“Nah nah nah nah nah. We didn’t try to burn down the Windsor, we were just playing at the Windsor and someone else wanted to burn down the Windsor. Jed had been spreading a lot of shredded paper all over the dance floor and someone decided it would be a good idea to put a match to it, so they did, and it went quite well. We continued to play.”

“Was it Hoots, was it?” asks Nick.

“It may have been Hoots.”

Warwick: “Now the police know.”

Nigel Russell: “We weren’t there playing. It was a Proud Scum, Features, ahh, Superettes gig.”

Jamrag: “Features, Superettes, whatever?”

Town: “It was a brilliant night, though, wannit ? I remember feeling ecstatic afterward. It’s one of the best shows I’ve ever seen in my whole life.”

Laughter.

“Hey Jon, this is Julian. Do you remember the hole that went from Zwines down to Dave’s?”

“Ahh, nowoo.”

“You don’t remember that? Remember the night that you spewed down the hole.”

“A hih hih hih.” Freaky laughter from Jon. “Ahh Noowwo.”

“He’s not admitting to anything tonight, is he?” says Nick.

Jamrag, on the rebound: “It sounds like something I would do. I just don’t recall doing it. Obviously too pissed to remember.”